The Happiness Effect: The Secret to Your Child's Success
Unlock the surprising impact of your well-being on your child's future.
As working mothers, we often juggle countless responsibilities, striving to provide the best for our children.
We follow the latest parenting advice – which can sometimes be confusing, I know. We’re consulting Dr. Google constantly and looking for new, fun, stimulating and educational things to do with our children.
While this is not new news, there is research about one key factor to ensuring better lifetime outcomes for our kids. One important thing. And while it may not seem that surprising, and it may seem simplistic, this one thing can be hard to achieve.
What am I talking about?
The research shows that one of the most powerful tools for your child's success is your own happiness.
Yes, your happiness!
Let's dive into why your well-being matters so much and how it can profoundly shape your child's development.
The Ripple Effect of Maternal Happiness
This research from the Ohio State University research* shows that maternal happiness boosts children's social and self-regulation skills while reducing emotional problems.
But how exactly does this work?
Boosting Emotional Well-being: Happier mothers create a positive home environment that supports their children's emotional stability. This atmosphere reduces the likelihood of anxiety and depression in kids.
Enhancing Social Skills: Positive interactions between happy mothers and their children foster better social skills. Children learn to build stronger relationships and interact more effectively with their peers, setting them up for social success.
Improving Behavioural Regulation: Happy mothers provide consistent and nurturing guidance more often, helping their children develop better self-control and emotional regulation. This means fewer tantrums and more constructive behaviour.
Cognitive Development: While maternal happiness has a more pronounced effect on social and emotional skills, it also indirectly supports cognitive development through enriching activities and educational support.
Given these factors, it's clear that prioritising your happiness isn't just a luxury - it's essential for your child's well-being and success.
But what makes mothers happy in the first place?
What Makes Mothers Happy?
At the risk of "mansplaining" here, this is what The World Happiness Report*** provides as some insights into what contributes to maternal happiness:
Social Support: Having people to lean on during tough times and share joyful moments with can significantly enhance happiness.
Economic Stability: Worries about finances can take a toll on anyone's well-being, so economic stability provides a much-needed sense of security.
Work-Life Balance: Mothers who can balance their professional and personal lives tend to report higher levels of happiness.
Health: Taking care of your health ensures that you have the energy and mental clarity to tackle daily challenges.
Marital Status: Quality marital relationships often correlate with higher happiness levels, whereas stressful relationships can have the opposite effect.
Policy Factors: Countries with strong social welfare systems and family-friendly policies, like those in Scandinavia, report higher maternal happiness.
The Rising Stress Levels Among Working Mothers
Despite the importance of maternal happiness, stress levels among working mothers are on the rise. An alarming 93% of mothers report feeling burned out today. Women experience burnout 32% more than men, driven by several common stressors**:
Lack of support at home and work
Overwhelming parental responsibilities
Being the sole caregiver
Struggling with childcare demands
Chronic sleep deprivation
This chronic stress and burnout among mothers have even led to the term “depleted mother syndrome.
Your Happiness Matters
When I was looking into this research, and thinking about sharing it, I was worried.
I was worried that this might feel like something else that we’re responsible for and just one more way that we can “fail” as working mothers.
And taking these research findings at face value provides validation for some of the traditional advice on how to feel happier as a working mother and how can you prioritise your happiness amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life:
Take Time for Self-Care: Make sure to carve out time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Whether it's reading a book, going for a walk, or practicing yoga, self-care is vital for maintaining your happiness.
Seek Social Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to family and friends when you need help or just someone to talk to. Building a strong support network can make a world of difference.
Strive for a Healthy Work-Life Balance: If possible, look for flexible work arrangements that allow you to spend quality time with your family without sacrificing your career.
Focus on Your Health: Prioritise your physical and mental health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your overall well-being.
Nurture Your Relationships: Invest time and effort in building strong, supportive relationships with your partner, friends, and family. Positive relationships are a cornerstone of happiness.
And yes, all of these things ARE important.
We know all of this, and still seeing a list like the one above probably makes your heart sink at all the ways you’ve been doing this “wrong”. And probably makes you think “yeah, right, who has time for that?”.
But what if we take a different view on this?
What if rather than complicating things for us - giving us more to add to the To Do list that we know we’ll never get to - it makes it simpler? What if this is the secret we’ve needed to embrace?
What if it’s as simple as knowing that our happiness matters?
That we can give ourselves permission to be happy.
This might take some radical self-acceptance. This might mean that we examine what we think we “should” do and do what’s right for us. This will mean that we can put ourselves back onto out To Do lists – right at the top this time. This means that survival is not the goal, thriving is!
And on that note, I have 4 questions for you:
What does “happy” mean for you?
What makes YOU happy?
How happy do you feel overall? Not today and in this minute but zooming out over the last 6 or 12 months?
And how much of that are you doing in your life every day?
And the bonus question: if your happiness really does matter, for you and your children, what needs to change for you?
So, take care of yourself—your happiness matters more than you might realise!
*Happy Mothers, Successful Children: Effects of Maternal Life Satisfaction on Child Outcomes - Dimitrios Nikolaou - The Ohio State University
**Exploring the mental health crisis among working mothers - https://business.talkspace.com/articles/mental-health-of-working-mothers
