Mom's Day Out: Rediscovering Fun and Self-Celebration!
What do you do for fun? This seems like a simple question to answer right? Well I’ve been finding it a bit hard to answer!
I came across an Instagram post where a working mom talks about she and her husband give each lists of things they’d like to do for Mothers’ day and Fathers ‘ Day, and the other spouse chooses from that list and sets it up for a fun day.
Great idea, right?
So with Mothers’ day coming up next month, I thought maybe I could get a head start and help hubby out with a list of my own.
So with my blue pen poised above a blank piece of paper, I scribbled down “Ideas for Mothers’ Day” at the top and underlined it twice. Pen poised I waited for the ideas to start coming. I know how to have fun, right?
As it turns out, apparently not!
For every idea I came up with, I then thought about the logistics around the idea or the money involved:
Breakfast in bed? Never going to happen! I sleep in the bed with the girls and then thinking about food spilling onto the bed and the dogs trying to steal food and probably someone falling off the bed. So that’s a no-go!
Spa day? I’d feel compelled to set up child care support for the day and I don’t enjoy spa days. Endless hours of doing nothing and having a stranger poke around at my body is not my idea of relaxing. I know I’m strange but it’s the truth!
Picnic? I love being outdoors. But it needs to be not too far from home and needs to have ablutions. It needs to have a kids play area. We’ll need to pack like we’re going on a 3 day holiday to make sure we have everything. And we’ll probably forget the picnic blanket!
Lunch with girlfriends? Well the truth is I don’t have any real girlfriends! I have moms I’m friendly with because our kids share space together. My best friend moved to the UK 20 years ago and she’s never been replaced here. Everyone else has been transitory in my life. And I’m ok with that until I think about a “sex in the City” type long lunch and I can’t think of 3 other women I’d be comfortable spending that time with! So that’s also a no!
So that left me with a blank page.
Then I pushed myself to think back to the things I’ve enjoyed doing before had kids and what they gave me:
Riding my horse & competing —> achievement, community, challenge
Gym sessions —> pushing boundaries, physical health, appearance, achievement
Listening to music —> emotional connection
Walking the dogs in the park —> connections, quiet time
Reading —> creating new worlds
Writing —> creativity, mental wellbeing
Those all made the list. And so did working. The work I did and do is a huge part of my identity, even if my identity is changing and being shaped by what I’m going through.
What did and does my work give me? It gives me a sense of achievement, it challenges me, connects me to others and gives me a sense of independence.
Now what do with THIS list?
Instead of creating a list for hubby, I’ve made my own list of things I’ll be doing to celebrate myself this Mothers’ Day and it includes:
Following horse sales pages so that I can find inspiration for when I’m ready to start riding again
Getting more involved at the stables – even if I’m not riding and competing, I can be supporting those who were “my team” when they do
Writing more: setting aside 30 minutes 3 times a week for writing. The content is not important, maybe it’ll be poetry, or articles or free writing.
Walking 3 times a week – getting into my gym kit and getting out into the neighbourhood
Refining my business offerings – knowing how important my work is, I can spend time working on the business and not just in it
So maybe it’s not a list that will help hubby, but in reality it’s not really about that. It’s about connecting back to me.
What will you be doing to celebrate yourself this Mothers’ Day and for every day?
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#balancingbrilliance #careerbalance #confessionsofaworkingmom #celebration #MothersDay
I'm an executive coaching for working moms who're looking to find better balance and start thriving!
