I fell into the ultimate working mother trap before – and after – my twins were born. I thought I needed to be bouncing back and was frustrated when I struggled to do just that.

Until I discovered that I wasn’t supposed to be “bouncing back” at all.

And I’ve caught myself feeling that this was the case. Angry with myself for not knowing more. And angry with the society we live in that has historically placed so little importance and value on motherhood. For me this is highlighted by the limited research available into what happens when a woman becomes a mother.

There is a plethora of research about parenting, and the act of mothering which provides tomes of data points for us to measure ourselves to and compare ourselves with. These usually leave us feeling like we’re utterly failing at motherhood.

And then there’s the standard career advice that supports the worker harder, be busy, never-stop-moving hustle culture of the modern world. None of which is helpful for working mothers.

Because there was so much I didn’t know before I became a working mother, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned on my journey.