Supercharge Your Success as a Working Mom ...
... Without the Guilt
I’ve always disliked the term “self-care”. I know what it means, and I know I should like it: the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health sounds like a good thing.
The thing is that for me, this always suggests bubble baths or spa days! And intellectually I know that “self-care” is more than that!
But still whenever I read the term “self-care” I catch myself doing a mental eye roll.
Many of us recognise the importance of self-care in preserving and enhancing our well-being, but for me, the popular imagery surrounding it often falls short of addressing the practical demands of our busy lives.
And after I became a mother, my focus became entirely outward focused to those 2 little beings who needed me to stay alive. Now that my girls are older, I’ve been reflecting on my journey, and I’ve realised that my “self-care” needs work!
From Self-Care to Performance Boosting Strategies
In my search for a term that works better for me than “self-care”, I’ve started to call these Performance Boosting Strategies.
Maybe it’s the corporate animal in me, maybe it’s my tendency to perfectionism, maybe it’s my desire to avoid being judged by others but renaming “self-care” as my Performance Boosting Strategies feels better for me.
It feels like less of an optional activity and more like a core success plan.
Which it is … a core success plan.
And this makes it less likely that I’ll forgo these strategies when times get tough – and we know as working moms, times do get tough, and we have to make HARD decisions most days!
You Won’t Thrive Without It
Good self-care or Performance Boosting Strategies will enable you to perform at your best no matter the arena you’re in.
After all, the wellbeing that comes from self-care is “the engine of success” - I love this quote from Randi F. Braun’s book “Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work”.
We’ve all seen the quote “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and while it’s a cliché, it is also true. Unless we’re investing in building and re-fuelling our personal energy, we run the risk of burning out. You cannot be the best person, the best at your job, the best partner or the best mom for your kids if you don’t have the energy to do these things.
It’s just not possible.
No-one can do it. Not even you. Not even if this how you’ve been operating for years. It’s taking its toll on you and it’s holding you back from the brilliance you could be achieving.
The Self-Care Myths
We all know that self-care is important. But as working moms, too often we get “too busy” managing our lives, families, and careers. We just don’t have time to add one more thing to our already overflowing plates. And it often feels counter-intuitive to slow down in times of pressure or stress instead of “gritting” it out and getting through this … whatever this is.
But these are the times when our Performance Boosting Strategies can help us the most.
If we’ve built up our energy reserves, we will be able to be more resilient, more adaptable and ultimately more successful in every area of our lives. Think of it like making deposits into our “energy bank”.
So why don’t we prioritise self-care?
Randi F. Braun talks about this when she identifies 5 myths of self-care that give us some clues as to why we struggle with this. Which of these have you ever experienced? I know I’ve been guilty of a couple:
Myth 1: Self-Care is a Luxurious Indulgence: It should be saved for a special occasion.
Myth 2: I Need to Work Harder to Earn It: If I have enough self-discipline and worked harder, I’d have time for this.
Myth 3: It’s Just a Season of Life: I’ve got a lot going on right now; I just have to power through and then I think about self-care.
Myth 4: I Should be Grateful: I shouldn’t be complaining about how stressed or tired I am when so many people live in much harder situations.
Myth 5: Maintenance as Self-care: doing household duties on my own while listening to a podcast is self-care.
And something else that stops us from prioritising this self-care is our “always on” hustle culture. We’re addicted to being busy and being “productive”. This usually means spending time and energy on our work and parenting. This does not often mean investing in ourselves. Because taking time out for us can feel selfish, right?
Maybe it’s because the benefits of taking self-care seriously cannot always be measured by spreadsheets or hard metrics. And these hard numbers are often celebrated in our modern business culture. But the holistic benefits are undeniable.
From Functioning to Flourishing
Do you want just FUNCTION, or do you want to FLOURISH?
Real self-care
Energises you
Fuels your inspiration and creativity
Empowers you to be your best
Doesn’t that sound amazing?
So, if self-care - or your Performance Boosting Strategies - are the engine that drives your success and enables you to thrive, how can you start prioritising this in your life?
Well, here is what Randi F. Braun says is the playbook for you:
1. Bust your self-care myths
Have a look at the myths above and be honest about which ones you’ve been falling for.
Think about how accepting these myths impacts your ability re-energise yourself for success. And what does believing this myth give you and what does it take from you?
2. Get real about self-care guilt
Do you really feel guilty or are you worried about others will say if they see you prioritising your own wellbeing within a global hustle and “do more” culture of work and being?
Much like I’ve renamed self-care for myself, how could changing how you perceive sale-care and the role it pays in your long-term life success impact what you do?
3. Build your own personal self-care toolkit
Take the 4-pillars of self-care and look at what you are doing in each category and brainstorm what you could be doing in each area:
Physical (taking care of your body)
Emotional (taking care of your feelings)
Intellectual (using your brain outside of work)
Spiritual (connecting to something greater)
4. Make a plan
Highlight the things you will commit to doing or write them out. Put it in your calendar. Find an accountability partner who you tell about your plan.
We’re much more likely to take an action if we’ve written it down and told someone else about it.
5. Take REAL time off
This means not checking mail. Not reviewing that contract. Not working on your OKR’s or KRA’s. It means checking out of work entirely.
To ensure you achieve even more that you’ve dreamed of, what will you be doing to protect and build your energy? How will you be maintaining your engine to ensure that you are able to handle all that life as a working mom throws at you?
Whether you're all in for self-care or prefer my twist of "Performance Boosting Strategies," the takeaway is clear: taking care of yourself isn't a luxury; it's a necessity for living your best life. It's the fuel that drives your inspiration, powers your creativity, and empowers you to be the best version of yourself.
Regardless of what you call it, focusing on what you need to thrive and flourish takes practice and effort but the benefits are real and undeniable. Your journey from merely functioning to truly flourishing starts with you.
If you want to know more about Balancing Brilliance and how to thrive as a working mom just click this link. This 4-month programme delves into how you can thrive without sacrificing your identity, compromising your career or letting mom guilt hold you back. And we go into more detail about topics like self-care, creating your ideal life, your success manifesto and building a life you actually want to live.
